There is a homicidal dwarf out in the hall. Actually, he doesn't want to kill me so much as he wants to fuck me. Just now, when I went out there, he rushed me and pinned me to the floor. I just barely held him back from satisfying his desire.
I thought, before I managed to get free of his uncanny dwarf strength, "I've had a long and beautiful life, and here I am, about to be fucked by some kind of an evil dwarf."
I tried to go up into the attic, but he was already there, grinning down at me. It's safe in here, though, in my parents' bedroom. I already checked under the bed and he wasn't there.
You know, I think I've got the solution to this whole dwarf problem. He can only be killed by being stabbed through the brain. I've got a pair of scissors here, and pretty soon, I'm going to go back out there and try to summon him.
"Come and get me, dwarf," I'll say, "come say goodnight."
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